Tossing Someone’s Salad Might Be More Sanitary Than You Think

Rim jobs. Tossing salad. Eating ass. Anal cunnilingus. Oral-anal play goes by many names—some more euphemistic than others. But no matter what you want to call it, oral-anal play (which typically involves one person using their tongue and mouth to stimulate their partner’s anus) can be a seriously delightful—and safe!—addition to anyone’s sex life. And good news, it’s probably more sanitary than you’d expect, too.

First things first, what’s a rim job?

We’re not gonna mince words, here: Performing a rim job involves gently and slowly running your tongue in circles around the rim of the anus. If you want, and your partner desires it, you can also gently penetrate the anus with the tip of the tongue, increasing speed and pressure if it feels good for both of you. Other fun ways to play back there include: using a finger to penetrate the anus while doing some licking in between, or maximizing the pleasure experience by reaching forward with your hands and applying gentle pressure on the perineum or clitoris. Let’s put those multi-tasking skills to sexy use, shall we?

And why exactly would someone want to, well, eat ass?

Though we tend to associate sexual pleasure with our genitals, the truth is, there are stimulation-worthy areas all over our bodies—anuses, included. In fact, the anal region is actually rich in nerve endings, making it super sensitive to stimulation, according to Natasha Chinn, M.D, New Jersey-based OB-GYN. (Fun fact, the main nerve in your perineum—the area between the vagina and the anus, or the scrotum and the anus—is called the pudendal nerve. And only 20 percent of its nerve endings are motor fibers, according to Chinn; the rest are sensory fibers, meaning the nerve is basically a pleasure goldmine.)

Plus, anal play can offer your partner easy access to the G-spot or P-spot, both controversial terms in the medical world. The G-spot, often referred to as a cluster of nerves that may or may not just be an extension of the clitoris (the metaphorical jury’s still out on this one), can often be found on the left side of the anterior wall of the vagina—where it can be easily stimulated by anal play, according to Chinn. The P-spot—more commonly known as the prostate gland—is a walnut-sized gland, located between the bladder and the rectum. The P-spot is recognized by many as the penis-owner’s equivalent of the G-spot (hence it’s name), and it can be stimulated by anal play, Chinn says.

In other words? There’s all kinds of pleasure potential just waiting to be untapped in the anal arena. So go ahead, if you want, and add “eating ass” to the bedroom menu.

Source: Instagram

OK, but is there any chance of me getting poop in my mouth during oral-anal play?

A common deterrent to oral-anal play? Poop. No one needs a science class to know that poop exits through our anuses, leaving them with kind of a bad—and honestly, gross—reputation. Is there any risk that mouth-to-butt action would lead to a fecal-matter-in-mouth situation? The answer’s a little complicated, and warrants a quick Science 101 recap.

Let’s start with the basics: Poop doesn’t just hang out in your rectum (the chamber that connects your colon, AKA your large intestine, to your anus) all day. Food waste that’s passed through your stomach and small intestine is stored in your large intestine until there’s enough of it to warrant, well, a bowel movement, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK). Once enough has built up, your colon contracts, pushes that stool into your rectum, and your brain gets a heads-up that you should probably head to the bathroom sometime soon. What that means is there’s not poop hanging out near your anus 24/7; it’s only there when it needs to be expelled, in which case, you can handle your business, according to the NIDDK. (This is why you and your partner can have anal sex without fear of, you know, creating a seriously huge mess.)

The only issue? Some fecal matter might get left behind in the process of pooping, according to Chinn. That fecal matter could be visible, invisible or some combination of the two. This means there’s some risk of getting some fecal matter on anything you’re sticking in someone’s anus, including your tongue. If that’s something you and the person you’re connecting with don’t want to risk, avoid penetrating the anus with the tongue, but know that even then microscopic fecal matter can still come in contact with your mouth. (It’s not just inside the anus—it’s around it, too.) Remember, you and/or your partner can always take a quick shower before engaging in oral-anal play, just to make sure things are clean as can be before you dive in. And dental dams are a really great option if you prefer protected oral-anal play. (More on that last part in a bit.)

And real talk: Are rim jobs sanitary?

Anuses aren’t just associated with poop. They’re also associated with all the bacteria that goes along with poop—bacteria that many of us have been taught will make us sick if it gets anywhere near our mouths. But this, too, is more complicated than it seems.

For starters, there’s bacteria everywhere in and on our bodies—including in our mouths, in our stomachs, around our anuses, and more. But that’s not necessarily a red flag, because not all bacteria is bad. In fact, a lot of that bacteria that’s lurking in our mouths, in our stomachs, on our anuses, etc., is vital to keeping our bodies running as smoothly as possible. A lot of bacteria is good, in the right places.

So while there’s definitely gastrointestinal bacteria hanging out around your partner’s anus, and while you’ll definitely get some of that bacteria in your mouth during oral-anal play, odds are, that bacteria won’t necessarily make you sick, Chinn says, but there is a possibility that it can. If your partner has been experiencing any gastrointestinal irregularities—poops that don’t look like they usually do, poops that are coming more or less frequently than they usually do, anal itching—stay away. These can all be signs of bad bacteria hanging out in your partner’s system—bad bacteria that, if ingested, might actually make you sick, according to Chinn.

So before getting down to business, have a quick chat with your partner about whether their poops have been regular lately. Sure, not the hottest topic for foreplay, but hey—if you’re already planning to get up-close and personal with their anus, it can’t be that awkward to have a quick chat about GI health.

Source: Instagram

What about STIs? Can I contract one from oral-anal play?

As is the case with basically any sex act, you can definitely contract STIs from oral-anal play, according to the American Sexual Health Association. Anorectal (anus and rectum) and oral STIs can both be contracted from oral-anal play. Some of these uncomfortable infections include anal and oral gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia and even HPV. If you’re unsure—or if you or your partner haven’t been tested in a while—you can always skip out on oral-anal sexy time, or use protection like a dental dam, according to Chinn. Dental dams are flexible sheets, commonly made of latex, that can be placed in between the mouth and anus. Like many forms of contraception, dental dams can lower your risk of contracting STIs. You can often purchase them in the condom department of supermarkets, or get them at your local Planned Parenthood. Chinn also recommends plastic wrap as a viable alternative to dental dams, a suggestion that a study published by the National Institutes of Health supports.

How can I ask my partner to give rim jobs a shot?

If you want to give rim jobs a try, open up a conversation about it. And know that if your partner isn’t into giving or receiving oral-anal, there are plenty of other options for anal play that don’t involve using your mouth. You can always add a little lube and stimulate your or your partner’s anus with a finger or two. Want to kick things up a notch? Invest in a butt plug. Trust us, the bedroom butt possibilities are endless.

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I Don’t Believe in Eye Creams, But These Eye Masks Are Crazy Good

I realize it’s fairly controversial to say that eye creams are sort-of a scam. After all, the assumption that they’re more necessary than eye masks for puffiness or concealer for dark circles is basically skincare gospel. And though I’m no dermatologist or aesthetician, I am a woman with an innumerable amount of products and one too many test-runs under my belt. So long story short: I think I’m qualified to at least state my case.

It’s not as if I tried an eye cream once, used for a week, and threw away a barely-used jar because my eyes didn’t magically look impossibly fresh and more awake. I’ve tried multiple ones, making sure that I used each one every morning and night for at least six weeks. I’ve applied meticulously with my ring finger because it applies the least pressure to the skin. I’ve experimented with different formulas, including ones that emphasize moisture and ones infused with brighteners like vitamin C. I’ve even made a point of eating cleaner and becoming militant about getting eight hours of sleep every night.

And even with all of these changes, the dark circles under my eyes remain. If my never-ending eye cream experiment has revealed one thing, it’s that, well, the experiment is sort-of pointless. To me, dark eye circles are like stretch marks. Once they’re there, they’re there forever. It doesn’t matter how many creams, hand massages, and jade-rolling sessions you do in a single day or week. After a certain point, your efforts should go toward concealing instead or simply approaching from a different angle. For instance, I find that my dark circles aren’t nearly as visible when I can calm puffiness. And thankfully, eye masks formulated to address this particular issue actually work.

Of course, eye masks for puffiness also require consistent use and almost always perform better when they’re kept in the fridge between usage, but still…they get the job done. And as someone who literally masks every other day and is always trying new, oft-buzzed-about, and underrated options, I’ve come to a carefully-curated conclusion. Ahead, five eye masks I’d bet my money on if ever you needed something to make it look like you actually woke up like this, sans concealer.

Meaningful Beauty.

Meaningful Beauty Revive & Brighten Eye Masque

Courtesy of Author.

This one had me at “Cindy Crawford.” A quick glance over the ingredients list shows you that these masks are heavy on moisture, thanks to the inclusion of niacinamide, castor seed oil, and glycerin. However, those with sensitive skin may want to bypass since it also includes fragrance. On the upside, this one feels extra juicy and doesn’t slip down the face too quickly, though I’d still recommend applying when you know you’ll be able to stay still for a few minutes.

$52 at Ulta

Bath & Body Works.

Bath & Body Works Pink Hydrogel with Elderflower Extract Under Eye Mask

These are masks you definitely need to sit still for. If you move around too much, they’ll fall right off your face, simply because they’re on the thicker side and heavy on product. I also love that the shape is created to fit over and under the eye, depending on where you’re experiencing the most puffiness.

Bath & Body Works.

$4.50 at Bath & Body Works

Arbonne.

Arbonne RE9 Advanced Prepwork Gel Eye Mask

Be sure to stick these in the fridge before using because that’s when they feel especially amazing. If you’re someone who is really concerned about crow’s feet and fine lines, this option is your best bet since it’s heavy on antioxidants, which are renowned for their antiaging properties.

$50 at Arbonne

Wander Beauty Baggage Claim Gold Eye Mask

Wander Beauty.

For those who like to do it for the ‘Gram, these photo-ready eye masks are just the ticket. Plus, once applied, they actually stay on the skin without any slippage. The outer layer of this mask is a special cellulose fiber that locks the key ingredients in, so they can more effectively penetrate the under-eye skin, thus delivering results more quickly.

Wander Beauty.

$25 at Sephora

Laneige.

Laneige Eye Sleeping Mask

And if you’re not into masks at all, the under-eye version of this brand’s award-winning face mask is super convenient and just as effective. Its main ingredients are a custom “Sleep Circular” blend of caffeine, vitamin P and other enzymes that de-puff the eye area as you sleep.

$34 at Sephora

Yes To.

Yes To Cucumbers Cooling Under-Eye De-Puffer

This drugstore fave is in my purse for whenever I spend the night at a girlfriend’s house, stay up all night and need a quick pick-me-up before hitting work or brunch the next day. An on-the-go face-saver, indeed.

$9.99 at Target

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‘Vogue’s Scarlett Johansson Cover & the Issue with Including Diversity in White Narratives

When I came across an article on how 14 global superstars were chosen to be on Vogue U.S.’s April covers, I immediately clicked to see for myself. The issue was supposed to be about “transcending borders,” which is why stars from India to South Korea were chosen to be the covers’ stars. But upon seeing the covers, I realized that the theme and its execution may have been the actual issue. The pictures prominently featured white women between women of color, who seemed rather unceremoniously squeezed into the sides. On a cover with South Korea’s Doona Bae and India’s Deepika Padukone, Scarlett Johansson, meant to represent the U.S., was front and center as the obvious star. Though the intention of featuring global superstars seemed good on paper, the execution was questionable and all wrong.

Vogue, who has had a long history of problematic covers (like Kendall Jenner’s afro in 2018 or Karlie Kloss’s Japan shoot in 2017), has raised eyebrows for the wrong reasons. According to Fashionista, there’s been a 17 percent increase in people of color featured on the U.S.’s leading magazines from 2017 to 2018. There’s no doubt that the media industry is progressing toward diversity and inclusivity, but how many of these campaigns are mere covers for a system that, beneath the surface, is actually much slower to change? Despite the progress, the white narrative is still alive. It’s only become sneakier in how it presents itself in the face of diversity. Vogue just wasn’t sneaky enough

Under the guise of celebrating “global talent,” Vogue placed the beauty of white stars—American and not—front and center. (While Johansson was in the center of her cover, French actress Léa Seydoux and Australian star Elizabeth Debicki were the center of theirs.) The diversity that usually stands out was used to frame the white actresses, who were featured in a more prominent light. The irony of choosing Johansson as the American representative wasn’t missed either. The actress faced backlash in 2017 for taking on a role in Ghost in the Shell, an action film based on a Japanese Manga, that many believed should have gone to an Asian actress.

It could be argue that, as Hollywood’s highest paid actress in 2018, Johansson was featured for her success and recognizability. There’s no doubt she’s a global superstar. However, if she was chosen on the argument of esteem, the question could also be raised: Will any woman of color ever be held in as high a regard? After all, the odds are stacked against them. Though not impossible, Hollywood has proven how much harder it would be for a Black actress, for example, to reach the level of esteem and fame that actresses like Johansson have received.

Could a Black woman ever become the highest paid actress of the year, especially when Black women are already paid less than white women in general? The issue of eminence is, in itself, another problem that is highlighted here. Vogue’s latest cover suggests that the default race to represent the U.S. continues to be white.

Vogue’s failed attempt at diversity amplifies the question of whether the publication is truly embracing diversity or merely flaunting it to keep up with the times.

Vogue could have chosen from many minority actresses, who represent a new age in Hollywood. Regina King won an Oscar this year for her performance in If Beale Street Could Talk. Constance Wu has been taking Hollywood by storm, especially after the success of Crazy Rich Asians. They would be more than recognizable enough for Vogue U.S.’s demographic (the American audience)—not to mention in par with the theme Vogue is going for. Even the movies just mentioned are more relevant today than Lost in Translation, a 2003 Johansson film that Vogue tried to fit in to explain her presence. There were also other ways to position the models. Why couldn’t Johansson be put on the side? Why couldn’t a woman of color be in the center of the second cover—or better yet, both?

The fact that no one at Vogue seemed to notice (or cared to change) how the actresses were positioned on the cover follows a recent interview with Ellen Pompeo for Net a Porter, who criticized the same magazine she was interviewing at for not having enough diversity behind the scenes. “I didn’t see enough color when I walked in the room today,” Pompeo said. The worst part: Net A Porter’s issue was supposed to be about empowerment and equality. Was this the same case with Vogue? If so, then how much is the cover really a facade for the public eye? Vogue’s failed attempt at diversity amplifies the question of whether the publication—and perhaps others—is truly embracing diversity or merely flaunting it to keep up with the times.

The latest Vogue covers are notable examples of this issue, but they don’t stand alone. The white narrative permeates the entire media industry, including the Oscars, which was another example of how diversity is still being used to tell a white narrative. No stranger to backlash for its lack of diversity, the Oscars promises change every year, only to take a step back with this year’s Best Picture winner. How can a story about Black people be profound yet relatable for a mostly white Oscars panel, a tricky balance for those eying the golden statue? The New York Times critic, Wesley Morris, pointed out the parallel between the Oscars in 1990 and 2019 in podcast, The Daily. Both times, the “racial reconciliation fantasy” appears, as Driving Miss Daisy and Green Book won Best Picture over Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing (which wasn’t even nominated in 1990) and BlacKkKlansman.

While all four movies are about racism, the first two are shown from a white character’s perspective and how they come to understand their racism through a close relationship with a Black person. They’re essentially supposed to be feel-good movies, where the racism is gone by the time the credits roll. On the flip side, Lee’s films dive more into the gritty details of racism from the point of view of the victim. Any guilt or call to action is there for the audience to confront face-to-face. It’s uncomfortable and something audiences often don’t want to do. Perhaps that’s why white narrative movies with diverse casts often prevail—and fail to have much effect otherwise. They deny that racism is still as a big a problem today, nor do they really apologize for past prejudices.

It goes to show that maybe the primary interest of some is not in greater representation but in self-preservation.

Remember another Oscar-nominated film, The Help? In this case, the viewpoints of all the Black help were seen through the lens of aspiring journalist, Skeeter, played by Emma Stone. This is the only reason their stories are even told and listened to. Instead of changing on their own, the film shows the Black characters becoming empowered through white character development. It’s a classic example of the white savior complex, also seen in other critically critically acclaimed films, like The Blind Side and Freedom Writers.

Even TV shows are featuring more diverse casts, while still focusing primarily on the white narrative. I love The Good Place and am enjoying ABC’s ridiculous but entertaining Whiskey Cavalier. I am awaiting the next season of Lucifer on Netflix. All of these shows feature diverse casts, but the focus is very much on two white characters. The first shows the changing nature of Ted Danson and Kristen Bell’s characters, the second has Scott Foley and Lauren Cohan as the leaders of a team, and the last has Lauren German and Tom Ellis as the will-they-won’t-they cop-consultant duo. Even Hawaii 5-0, a show about the only state in which white people are not the majority, focused entirely on two white men played by Alex O’Loughlin and Scott Caan. Is this a trend or is this a trend?

All in all, it’s clear things are getting better. There are many campaigns out there that are featuring diversity in an authentic way, like#AerieREAL and L’Oreal’s True Match Campaign. In contrast to Vogue U.S., Vogue U.K. actually had a great cover with diverse models, earning Ghanaian-British editor-in-chief, Edward Enninful, praise. I am excited for the movie Hustlers, starring Jennifer Lopez, Cardi B, Constance Wu, and more. I will take any representation I can get. Celebrate these steps, for sure, but it is important to also take notice when diversity is being forced into a white narrative for the sake of comfort or relatability. Vogue keeps getting it wrong. The Oscars, even almost 30 years later, remains oblivious to what the deeper problems are. TV shows seem to relegate their diverse cast to secondary roles a good chunk of the time. It goes to show that maybe the primary interest of some is not in greater representation but in self-preservation.

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23 Plus-Size Spring Coats So Cute, You’ll Wish It Would Stay Cold Forever

Yes, spring is officially here, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still chilly outside. While the temperatures are definitely warming up (especially on the west coast), it’s not quite time to put away all your cooler weather garments. For days when the wind chill is just a little too much to handle or cool nights when you know you’ll need a little something to keep you from shivering, cute plus-size spring coats are the perfect wardrobe option.

Spring coats are the weather-appropriate addition to your closet you might just be missing right now. I didn’t realize spring coats were even a thing until recently, but now I’m obsessed. Basically, spring coats are everything you need to transition your wardrobe to warm weather. Some are super lightweight (for those of us who dwell in the west, where the temperatures have been higher recently) and others are more heavy-duty (for those who have been experiencing annoyingly chilly weather this spring). Whatever your weather situation, you can’t go wrong with a coat that screams spring—and also keeps you from freezing.

Transitioning your wardrobe from winter to spring can be a tedious process, but think of me as your personal guide through this difficult time. I’ve searched for the cutest plus-size spring coats—which, if you wear plus sizes, you know finding extended sizing that’s also stylish can be challenging—and I found 23 perfectly springy options on offer right now. From fuzzy and warm to airy and cool, there are myriad adorable plus-size spring coats that are ready to be your transitional wardrobe’s BFF.

1. Puff Sleeve Trench Coat, $119.95 at Eloquii

Just when you think a trench coat can’t get any cuter—add puff sleeves.

2. DESIGN Curve Coat with Dropped Collar, $111 at ASOS

Baby blue is the spring color you definitely want in your wardrobe.

3. Sanctuary Faux Fur Mini Parka, $229 at Nordstrom

This coat is reversible, so I’ll take ten.

4. Packable Hooded Raincoat, $49.99 at Full Beauty

Spring will inevitably bring rain, so you’ll want a cute raincoat, of course.

5. Longline Anorak, $200 at Anthropologie

Chic and practical, so you can wear it every day.

6. Mixed Print Duster, $89.95 at Eloquii

A flower power vibe if I ever saw one.

7. Long Tailored Blazer, $109.95 at Eloquii

A chic blazer coat that’s totally work appropriate.

8. Duster Coat in Snake, $64 at ASOS

Snake print is totally a neutral now—get on board.

9. Halogen Double-Breasted Trench Coat, $198 at Nordstrom

Cute, versatile and waterproof.

10. Cord Boyfriend Coat, $95 at ASOS

This coat is just slouchy enough to make you look effortlessly cool.

11. 1.State Faux Mink Crop Jacket, $169 at Nordstrom

So warm and cozy, but still looks great with your spring wardrobe.

12. Tier Me Roar Jacket, $65 at Modcloth

OK, ruffles; I see you (and I love you).

13. Flounce Duster, $54.99 at Full Beauty

Hot pink flare sleeves are the way to my heart.

14. In With the Whimsical Cotton Jacket, $75 at Modcloth

A spring staple you need in your wardrobe.

15. Stripe Duster Coat, $72 at ASOS

This duster coat is beyond cute. I’m obsessed.

16. Classic Imagination Trench, $149 at Modcloth

A classic trench with a pop of color. What’s not to love?

17. Mixed Print Duster, $119.95 at Eloquii

So cozy you could wear it as a robe.

18. Kensie Notch Lapel Peplum Coat, $129.90 at Nordstrom

You can wear this coat fall, winter or spring.

19. Fleece Jacket, $49.99 at Fully Beauty

This coat is just thick enough to keep you cozy without making you sweat.

20. Ava & Viv Drapey Trench Coat, $39.99 at Target

The perfect addition to your favorite spring ensemble.

21. Embellished Coat, $89.99 at Roaman’s

This lilac coat is perfect for spring.

22. Plisse Textured Coat, $95 at ASOS

Pretty in pink all spring long.

22. Badgley Mischka Angelina Trench Coat,

Just a classic (and pretty) spring piece.

 

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