Rarely do I encourage buying Valentine’s Day gifts for single people. It can be cheesy! Awkward! Downright humiliating! My ~galentines~ and I prefer to spend the night drinking, snacking and (light-heartedly) complaining. That said, this year I’m blessing my girls with the ultimate present that’s too good to pass up: The Don’t Text Your Ex Vibrator by Better Love, available now via Ella Paradis.
If you’re already thinking, “I don’t need another vibrator,” then babe, Think! Again! This little red heart-shaped vibe is the absolute cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Like, I’m fully obsessed. And it’s not just cute—it’s pretty powerful, too. This rechargeable toy has a 70-minute run time (Perfect for a solo sesh on your V-Day night in) and from one button alone, you get 10 intense vibration modes to shuffle through until you find The One. Oh, you thought The One was your future husband? Nope, sorry. The One is the pulsing feel of your brand-new vibrator.
Imagine a Valentine’s Day that’s all about achieving your perfect orgasm. No worrying about if your partner is satisfied, no wondering if your hookup will ever call you again and definitely no regret the next morning over texting your ex. Finally, a reliable, consistent V-Day date who won’t ghost you or complicate things. Better Love, thank you for this.
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Oh, and I didn’t even tell you the best part yet, did I? This pricy little heart is on sale right now in honor of Cupid’s favorite holiday, and when you use the code “LOVE” at checkout, the price will from from $99.98 to $39.99. Considering $40 is way less than a Valentine’s Day pre fixe meal at any nice restaurant, I think we know what the right move is.
All in all, I’m only joking when I sound cynical about Valentine’s Day—it’s a sweet holiday, and I love seeing my friends in relationships be showered with the love and praise they deserve! That said, for us singletons, it can definitely be a bummer whether or not we like to admit it, so having a little something special makes the day just as exciting for us. Plus, I’m never one to shy away from the opportunity to orgasm.
Oh, and if you are in a relationship, gifting your boo this toy to amp up your sexy time is an equally good idea, especially if it’s your first time bringing toys into the bedroom as a couple and you want to ease in. This vibrator is downright adorable, not intimidating at all, so it’s the perfect pick for adding juuust the right amount of spice.
Bottom Line? This February and all year long, stop texting your ex. Buy this vibrator instead. You’re welcome for the free advice!
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